Linda Clavijo
To the outside, Linda had everything going for her. However, she was really struggling with her mental health.
On the surface, 23-year-old Linda Clavijo Fajardo had everything going for her: a career in the Air Force, a desire to go to dental school after finishing her dual degrees in psychology and Spanish from the University of Missouri-Kansas City, a loving and supportive family, a bright and optimistic smile, and a love for shopping.
Inwardly, however, she was struggling with self-deprecating thoughts about her value, her looks, and her purpose on Earth. She even realized that her love for shopping was a coping mechanism for her depression. She would shop for hours on end without a care in the world if she had the money or funds to support it; the instant gratification was all that mattered.
These thoughts eventually escalated to the point where she contemplated self-harm and suicide.
“The physical strength I got when I started having suicidal thoughts scared me. I remember once when I was so frustrated with the world, I went to my bedroom, grabbed my phone and threw it hard against the wooden headboard of my bed that it shattered. I’m a small lady, I didn’t know where that strength came from. That’s when I knew the force that I could have, something bad was going to come from it.”
Linda opened up to her family, several members who had dealt with their own mental health struggles in the past, about her thoughts. Their love and support led her to consult with medical professionals who eventually referred her to Research Psychiatric Center (RPC) in Kansas City, Mo., where she participated in the VINE Program and Partial Hospitalization Program.
“I went into RPC nervous because I thought the more I would share about my mental health, the longer they would make me stay. Instead, they made me feel so welcome that I was able to open up and share, getting the help I actually needed sooner rather than later.”
What were some things you learned about yourself when you were a patient at Research Psychiatric Center?
“I went to RPC believing I was a monster for wanting to self-harm or because I had suicidal ideations. My inpatient therapist, Jason, reassured me that it wasn’t my fault for breaking my phone or having the ideation to harm myself. Before going in, I thought I was the problem. After they reassured me it wasn’t my fault for feeling how I felt, I believed them and I live better every day now knowing that.
I also learned valuable ways to handle stresses that everyday life can bring. Because I had to take time to improve my mental health, I had to push some things aside like summer school, which I was eager to do, so that I could take better care of myself first. But now that I know it was for my health, I have a more positive outlook on life and have the tools under my belt to cope with the stressors that come with life and being a student; tools I didn’t have before.
I even learned something fun about myself. While at RPC, I enjoyed participating in art, drawing, and painting therapy. That was a skill I didn’t know I had or could enjoy, and I wouldn’t have found it if I didn’t take time to seek help or go through the inpatient program.”
How has your family supported you during your mental health journey?
“My family is from Bogota, Colombia so we already have that stigma of being Hispanic of not being able to be open about your mental health. But my family was very supportive because depression, anxiety, bipolar disorders run in the family. We had already seen this before, we had been to psychiatric facilities before to seek help. We already knew what it was like to be here, to be in each other’s shoes, we already knew the best thing we could do was to give each other that support. I want families to support their children and their loved ones because that is the only thing that will help you make it through.”
What advice would you give to parents if their children come to them and express concerns over their mental health?
“The best advice I would give parents is to give their children, regardless of age, the love they need at that moment. They may need a hug, or they may need more help than that. Do not be afraid of addressing it. Instead of saying, ‘oh no, my kid is in a psychiatric facility,’ or, ‘my kid is in therapy,’ say things like ‘my kid is brave,’ or ‘my kid is strong for getting the help they need’ because those children are wanting to live more than any other day they had before. They want to see the beauty in life and they still want to be here.”
What about advice for kids, teens, young adults wanting to open up about mental health to their family or a loved one?
“Opening up to parents or loved ones can be a tough topic, but it is needed. When I opened up to my mom about it, I knew it was a sit-down conversation, it may not be like that for everybody, but the best way to go about it is to be honest. Be honest and know there is support out there and that there are people who will love
For anyone struggling with mental health, what would you want them to know?
“I would want them to know we don’t often give it as much attention as we need to, and that waiting to get care or not seeking care at all can hurt worse. Through my own mental health journey, I learned more about myself. RPC is there and is specialized to help when we need the help. I am definitely glad I made the choice to go get the help I needed because I am still here; I get to experience life in a different way, and see things in a new way.”
Learn more about Research Psychiatric Center on our website. If you would like to speak to someone, please schedule an online appointment or call (816) 444-8161.